Sometimes my boyfriend and I have long drawn out fights because I am stubborn and like to get my way. Sometimes he puts vegetables in the car and they’re covered in bugs that crawl on me. And sometimes people ask me if we’re going to get married and I falter and don’t know how to answer because how realistic is it, really? An American and a Palestinian? The Jews that run America would laugh at me if I asked if I could take him home with me. (Please do not take that last sentence seriously. It is clearly speculation. And probably hyperbole.)
But sometimes I listen to an American woman ramble on about how the FBI is attempting to get her daughter back from her husband, whom she’s not even divorced from yet. (And they got married under Sharia. When she told me that, I accidentally burst out laughing and said “You’re fucked.” It was very rude of me. But in my defense, I thought he was in Egypt still, not in America. In which case, she would be royally fucked. Exhibit A: Not Without My Daughter) And then she tells me about her current boyfriend, who’s engaged to his cousin in Egypt and wants her to be ok with the polygamy thing. And then she tells me that he wants kids, so she’ll have some with him even though she already has four (although I suppose the one with her former/current husband doesn’t count anymore.) And then she tells me about a guy from New Zealand who’s helping her move in a few weeks. And then she tells me he’s white when I call him a kiwi. And I just tilt my head in confusion as she explains that she thinks the word kiwi is just for indigenous people.
And I just smile and nod and appreciate the fact that my boyfriend and I are good as gold. Ok, that’s a lie. I corrected her because seriously, how has life not taught her that before? But the moral of the story is still that my boyfriend and I can totally get married. We could get married and divorced twenty times and still turn out a thousand times better than her love life. Mabrouk to us!
(Also, does my title count as SEO? Eh? Eh? My site will be #1 bestest in no time, am I right or am I right?)