It is fitting, I suppose

Fittingly, the day after a post goes up about dating an Arab, I break up with that Arab.

It’s been about a week now. (About means exactly. Exactly just sounds too scientific for a blog.) I go through moments of time where I’m determined to live the Best Life and do the Best Things for Me Me Me. Then I go through moments of time where I Sit On My Widow Still and Stare Dramatically and have Deep Thoughts about What It All Means.

Do the capitals showcase how cliche it all is?

I broke up with him, if you must know. But I did it because I could tell that he wasn’t really “into it” anymore, not because I wasn’t “into it.” He didn’t want to please me or make me happy. Which is a sure sign that he’s just not that into me. We’d been fighting for months, mostly about how he didn’t want to please me or make me happy or be that into me. I was extremely transparent about what I wanted and how he wasn’t doing it. He didn’t seem to care.

Then, he asked for “one more chance” and I gave it and he fucked it up royally, just like all the others before it. So I said “last straw, the end, khallas.” (Khallas is Arabic for “it’s finished, done, the end.” It’s much more effective than any English equivalent, once you learn it.)

He’s still asking for one more chance. And I never wanted to be done with him in the first place, so of course I want to give him a thousand more chances. But is that really the best idea? Am I really going to do that for the rest of my life? Is our relationship just going to be him shitting on me, and me yelling and screaming and ranting about it, but then yet again giving him yet another chance to yet again try to do better, forever and ever? Shouldn’t it be easier than all that? Shouldn’t there be progress of some sort? Shouldn’t cycles end?

Spoiler alert: They don’t.

TL;DR: Life goes on, obadi obada.

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3 Responses to It is fitting, I suppose

  1. Liz says:

    I had a boyfriend like this. Actually, I had two. The first one was more interested in the chase — he loved to have girls chase him and the fact that I just rolled my eyes intrigued him for some reason. Ugh. I soon got tired of his constant royal fuckups to the point that I just ended it for good. Two years of constant back and forth things; it was so exhausting. The second chased me everywhere — and yeah, it can be nice, but it’s also annoying as hell after the first week — and then went back to his ex-girlfriend who was his sister-slash-BFF-slash-confusing person/thingy only to come back to me later because she broke his heart. I chose to not. To end the cycle before it could even begin.

    Point is, sometimes we have to constantly give people chances before we realize. Hopefully one day he will realize how badly he screwed up. ‘Til then, good luck!

  2. Manda says:

    That last paragraph sounded just like my last relationship and pretty much sums up why it’s over.

    Hugs, girl.

  3. callistonian says:

    Sorry about that. šŸ˜¦ I wish you a wonderful week and a better boyfriend in the future.

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