Sometimes I really fucking hate people. It’s like they’re intentionally trying to piss others off with their idiocy, by spewing utter crap from their tiny minds, as often as possible. Here is a smattering of the bullshit I endured this morning on my Facebook feed.
“Nobody here listens to country music!” Meaning, here in Abu Dhabi, an extremely international and diverse city? Really? You think that you are the only person that listens to an insanely broad and general genre of music? You think this entire city is totally oblivious to famous songs that happen to be in that category? Seriously? Because country music isn’t internationally famous or anything…. (She’s not America, as it were.) The worst part is that she has zero Arab friends, thus she’s basing her blah blah blah on her five Western friends. So why the hell even bother adding that extremely grating “here”? Why???
“One of the reasons why I love Harlem is that I can get a fancy coffee and a greasy breakfast sandwich on the same block.” Does she seriously think that is a phenomenon that is unique to Harlem? It’s like she’s never been anywhere else in the world… Except she has, actually, been lucky enough to travel. Often. But perhaps she had sudden onset blindness every single time. Because somehow she has not realized that every. single. place. ever. has places for fancy coffee and greasy breakfast sandwiches on the same block. It’s more taxing for my brain to attempt to think of a place that doesn’t offer such a phenomenon. The middle of the Sahara might possibly not include such a block… Maybe.
“I’m convinced paleo pancakes are better than normal pancakes.” So, you think that because you’re using almond flour or whatever, your pancakes are somehow more valuable than those with wheat flower. Good for you, you’re entitled to your totally uninteresting opinion. But your statement is still crawling with uncertainty, so I’m going to go ahead and guess that you don’t really believe it. You just want to brag about being paleo, perhaps. As if we give a fuck that you’re into the latest diet fad. As if we give a fuck what you put in your body at all.
And if one more person posts a sound-byte quote from Obama, I will shank them. For not realizing how much they are a pawn in the political game. For not seeing how much they are helping to shape the filler speeches of the future, so that they are less and less about anything that really matters. For not seeing that the propaganda is perfectly geared towards them, the media-whore audience. Congratulations, you have ruined the world!
(And if you suggest that I quit Facebook, you don’t know me at all. This is all said with the utmost affection. As David Byrne would affectionately coo, I want to kill and kiss them too. Cue the music!)