My ex has been on a rampage of stalking and craziness lately. There’s just no excuse for the insane amount of bullshit he’s pulled. Calling me twenty times (literally) between the hours of 1am and 3am on work nights is ridiculous. Following me around a bar is depraved. And asking me who I’m fucking and then telling everyone he knows that I’m a slut is just disgusting.
Two nights ago, I went out and he followed me around the bar. To the point where I felt like I just shouldn’t move. Every time I tried to get away from him, he would grab my arm or block my path. I realized again how much larger he is than I am and how ineffective it would be if I ever attempted to physically hurt him…. it is extremely intimidating when he gets to that level, to be honest. He has never physically hurt me, but it is frightening to have no power like that. He followed me even when I left the bar to get away from his harassing, which had prevented me from even seeing the friend that I was there to meet. So I was sitting in the taxi, he was poking his head in the driver door, and the taxi driver was just sitting there silently as my ex bitched at me. Eventually a bouncer came over and told the taxi driver he had to move so other cars could drive up. He then told me to get out of the car if I wanted to talk to the guy who was bitching at me. So I curtly informed him that I definitely did not want to talk to the asshole who was harassing me and that he needed to make the asshole move, not me! So he told my ex to move. When my ex responded by telling him to fuck off, he looked confused for a second, then fucked off…
Eventually my ex realized he wasn’t making any progress and left. But I was so depressed! Nobody had put any effort into helping me get away from him. I’m aware that the madness will only end when my ex ends it, (which will take roughly another month, based on previous experience with him.) But until that happens, it would be nice if people at least pretended to notice that he’s harassing the shit out of me.
Then last night, my friend, whose birthday it was, wanted to go to my ex’s bar. (By which I mean, the bar we met in and both loved, but I mostly stopped going to out of courtesy to his seniority at the bar and my need for space from him.) When we arrived, he was there, but I didn’t see him and only heard this through a friend. A short while later, I was informed by a mutual acquaintance, who was passing by our table, that he had left and I didn’t have to worry. (It is so very telling that others inform me of the ex’s whereabouts.) I was elated enough to dance!
But then on the dance floor, he suddenly re-appeared.
I immediately left and went upstairs to where my purse was, intending to leave as quickly as possible. As one of my friends was attempting to persuade me to stay, the ex arrived upstairs. I don’t remember what was said between us, but at a certain point, he pushed me.
And immediately two of my guy friends stepped in and dragged him outside to yell at him in Arabic. And I didn’t see him again for hours! I don’t know what they said to him, but he kept his distance.
Until the end, when we were getting into taxis to go to another bar. I was basically pushed into the taxi by one of my friends and we sped off, while another one stayed behind to talk to my ex. I don’t know what he said to him, but my ex didn’t follow us to the next bar, as he is wont to do.
It was amazing to have people stick up for me like that. It is so much less frightening to deal with him when there are people on my side. Especially since he has effectively alienated all of his friends and has none on his. I almost felt bad for him as I was telling the stories to my roommate this morning. Then I looked at the obnoxious texts he’d sent overnight and reminded myself that he is a terrible person and entirely deserves to be alienated. And I just need to keep surrounding myself with good people.