Last night an old man at a bar correctly guessed that I was a teacher. He also correctly guessed that my friend was a nurse. He insisted that he could just tell these things because he was old and had been around so many people people and just sensed it.
Later in the evening, I pressed him for more information and he allowed that perhaps he knew I was a teacher because I looked wholesome.
“Wholesome?” I responded a little too loudly.
He sensed I was offended and tried to ameliorate his answer, but I conceded, “Sure, yes, I’m wholesome. I can see it.”
What I really wanted to reply was: “The most wholesome girl with chlamydia you’ll ever meet.”
(Yes, seriously. A lingering gift from my darling exboyfriend. It’ll be gone in 2-3 days, so it probably would have been wise to throw that line in while I had the chance to use it. How often does one get to shock and awe like that, you know?)