Five days into the new year and I am already killin’ it!
Just kidding. I’ve been super useless. My boy du jour/boyfriend ironed a shirt today, and I was mesmerized, watching him put so much effort into wrinkle-free clothing. Like really, why bother?
Although I did go to the store yesterday and buy a tomato and an avocado. And they were delicious and totally worth the effort.
Henceforth I will be referring to the boy du jour as the boyfriend. He’s been my boyfriend for like a month now, but I was in denial. Because he’s 23, and I’m 27, and that’s just ridiculous. Yesterday we had a conversation that went something like this:
Him: We should get married soon.
Me: [laughter] You should get..
In unison: A job soon.
Him: [serious pause] Yeah, I should get a job soon.
Then we talked about how his mom is more focused on him getting married than his older brother. And I was like “Why? Is he ugly?” And he was like “No, my mom says he’s the cuter one.” And then he said his brother had wanted to marry this Moroccan woman, but he introduced her to their mom in the wrong way, so she was out.
One time he got off the phone with his dad and said he had to go do something because “the queen ha[d] spoken.” Meaning his mom.
One time a few of us went to dinner and one of the dishes was duck. And he loved it. Then we told him that it was duck, and he shouted, “What? I hate duck!!” And we laughed. He was genuinely shocked that it was duck. And he insisted that he hated duck and would never eat it again.
One time he told me about a trip to Palestine and how the moment he arrived he started a hunt for weed. Priorities, you know?
One time we spent at least 30 minutes differentiating between “p” and “b.”
One time he tried to teach me Arabic, and I purposefully skipped all the harsh Arabic sounds that I know how to make, but pretend I don’t. He was like, “You know how to do it! Just do it!”
He’s fantastic. Smiley face emoji.