Today was my last day of work for the school year. In about a week, I’m going to Turkey to meet up with one of my friends and her husband for some catch ups and adventuring. After that, I’m coming back here to North Cyprus to pick up another pay check, finalize my packing, and then I’m flying back to my regularly-scheduled life in Abu Dhabi.
My husband flew back to Abu Dhabi earlier this week. Originally the plan was for him to do all the things with me, but… quite frankly, we’re not happy with each other at the moment. This past year has been a real trial. Living here was painful for both of us, individually. There were lots of negative emotions swirling around and around inside of us, growing to tornadoes that were unleashed on each other. That sounds more poetic than it was, actually. Basically we treated each other like shit. Which bred a lot of hatred and resentment, so now we need some serious space from each other to recover from all that. So, let’s put multiple countries between us for a few weeks!
I wish more people wrote candidly about this period of relationships. When you really, really, really hate that person you love. But I can’t do it either, really. I can’t give any identifying details, and it’s not as interesting if I write about it vaguely. If I mention a knife, but don’t give any details. If I try to describe the conflicting mess of feelings without explaining the specific events that triggered each layer of emotion. If I don’t bring in our religions or families or friends or habits or anything that might offend people, should they stumble upon the story that mentions them.
Public blogging is such a farce, isn’t it? Perhaps I should just write everything as allegories. I often make up stories for my husband about monkeys or elephants or boys with pet rocks. And they often end up being allegorical. Perhaps that is where I should devote my blog energies…