After all the melodrama of yore, things have settled. My husband and I are together again, and happy, but not officially living together because that would be conventional and we’re anything but. I’m working again, at the school that once fired me, then rehired me, and has now rehired me again. Thus, my finances are settling back to stable, which is probably the most calming thing to happen in a person’s life. Once finances settle, everything else falls into place too, in its ways. There was some residual radiation from the drama as my friends reacted to the idea of me and my husband being back together. But they got over it.
Basically my life is returning to how it was before I left for Cyprus, more or less. There are of course, some changes, but I find them nominal.
I’m getting back to that place in my life where I can make self-improvement plans and pretend I’m going to exercise regularly and practice language skills and shit like that… It’s pleasant and idealistic and naive. After coming off months of intense depression and anger and all things negative, it’s cute to be so optimistic about controlling my life. But it also feels unreal and I am highly suspicious of it. The idea that I exert any influence over the events of my life is still a laughable one. Shit just happens and we have to roll with it the best we can. And eventually there’s a time of calm, like now, but it could just be the center of a hurricane and I’m not ready to stop bracing to hit the eyewall. Not yet. Hopefully soon.