I wish I could build a time machine and just fast-forward. This school year is my time to heal from divorce and heartbreak, but that is a really lame way to spend one’s time, honestly. All the self-help tells you to feel the pain and allow the hurt and caress the scars or whatever, but after a few months of that, you’re emotionally exhausted. And you’re ready to stop wallowing and start moving forward in the lonely solo life you’ve been forced to accept.
Of course, since I have a nasty habit of falling in love and staying in Abu Dhabi for men, I don’t actually want to move on when it comes to men. Which means I have to keep being lonely and solo, which means there is a lot of time to fill. (Dating/relationships are very time consuming. Being alone all the time makes you realize that there are seriously 24 hours in a day, whoa.) I’ve been filling that time with wallowing or watching a plethora of mindless entertainment or playing mindless phone games or just staring at my phone, willing myself not to contact my exhusband. It has not been productive.
I need to visualize more productive uses of this alone time and set goals and whatever. So here are some goals for the next months:
- Get back on that OCD bullet journal train and overflow your weeks with impossible goals and to-do lists
- Delete your ex-husband from your phone and get some Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind therapy to forget his number
- Stop ordering overpriced delivery food and justifying it with “self-care;” it’s not that hard to chop your own salad, you lazy expletive
- Exercise more. The Kardashians do not just eat the salads, they do the workouts. Hashtag asspirations (sic)
- Get some new clothes. That white T you love sporting is literally stained and falling apart. Ya gotta upgrade ya.
- Write an essay about the impossibility of modern marriage. Or the cancer of self-care. Or the idiocy of corporate-shaming. Get your Didion on. You know you want to and on some level it would be cathartic.
- Join an online writing community. The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing, shout out Socrates.
- Paint again. Yes, it reminds you of him, but you’ll get over that. Inshallah. Right? Maybe…
- Hem those pants already. And get new contacts already. Etc. There are literally things on my to-do list that have been there for years.