I’m never going viral

As most personal bloggers do, I often waver in my commitment to blogging. But the truth is that in one form or another, I’ve had a blog for over 15 years. And sure, months go by without an update, but I’m always lurking around, ready to spill my guts for potentially the entire world to see.

And that is terrifying. The idea that my boss could stumble upon this website and learn about my personal life is haunting. The idea that my students could find it… Or what if the men du jour of yore should recognize this as mine, go through the archives, and find mention of themselves? It’s all extremely petrifying.

But the truth of the matter is that those odds are low. Because I’m never going viral. I have like ten viewers. And I love you all. But your numbers are low. And any attempts to become famous hover around zero. And quite frankly I don’t see those attempts rising, ever. Because I am too lazy to promote myself. Because things don’t go viral unless they’re videos/gifs. Because I get queasy at the idea of making myself brand-able. Because I enjoy my current lackadaisical plan of just living my ridiculous life and then gossiping about my ridiculousness. And then rereading all my archives whenever my life turns to shit and being like “oh, it’s been a fun ride.” It’s like a journal, but written far more entertainingly.

There’s this obnoxious quote that goes exactly along the lines of, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” And I hate that quote so much. How on earth can you discuss an event without discussing people? And what good is an idea if people aren’t affected? The people are the core of everything! It just generally is one of those platitudes of pseudo-profundity that makes me want to scream. But the point is that I’ve contemplated not talking about people on here, for their and my own safety and privacy. But I can’t ever truly do it. That’s just not the way that I was taught to blog.

So to anyone who ever stumbles upon this blog and realizes it’s me or sees him/herself in it…. you’re wrong. It’s not me. And it’s not you. This is all clearly fiction.

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2 Responses to I’m never going viral

  1. Lani says:

    One of my struggles is writing about my life’s events because I’m too terrified that the person or people I’m talking about will suddenly take an interest in my blog. It happened once and I did not like it. Luckily I was retelling a story of something that happened in grade school, but I did not expect the girl in question to suddenly read what I had to say.

    And so the silence continues…haahahaha

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