Eid Mubarak

The holy month of Ramadan has come to its end, which means it’s Eid al Fitr. Which means we all get a week off of work, hurrah! It also means the fasting Muslims are back to their non-fasting lives. Which means we all have to go back to normal working hours after our break. But we can drink water shamelessly again during daylight hours, so that’s good, especially since it is insane weather. As I described it to a friend, it’s that time of year where you feel as if you’re bursting into flames when you step outside during the day.

I’d say it’s global warming, but that record is broken and people are deaf.

Speaking of political issues and ignorance, I’m moving back to the good old United States of America in exactly one month after yesterday. (That’s awkward wording.) I’ve been watching The Good Fight as part of my attempt to reassimilate. It’s an amazing show and I really feel like it’s helped me to catch up on some of the intricacies surrounding the nonsense that is American politics.

It’s very sad to be leaving Abu Dhabi. Tomorrow is my birthday party and I don’t know how I’m going to keep it together. Last night I went out for drinks with my exhusband and at one point in the evening I just started crying. Like tears were just streaming down my face. For no discernable reason. Like nothing had happened in the moment that would cause such a public display, but there I was on my bar stool spilling tears rather uncontrollably. When I finally got it together, he wanted me to explain why I was crying, and I couldn’t because there was no one reason for it, and then my inability to explain it set off another round of waterworks! And I’m usually quite good at not being emotional in public ever…

It’s been real roller coasters of emotions over here. Which I suppose is normal for such a transitional time. My American friends are all showing me so much love about moving back, and my exhusband is his usual conflicted, childish self, and my free time has been very stale here, so I know I’m making the right choice. But the future is so unclear that it scares the living daylights out of me. I tend to just ignore it, and try to focus on what I can do moment by moment. But it’s still crazy overwhelming. And it does not help that my friends here keep having these damn conversations about how much they’re going to miss me. Like, please, get on my bandwagon of pushing the emotions under-rug!

Anyways. That’s my life for the next month. A bittersweet mess.

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4 Responses to Eid Mubarak

  1. Lani says:

    Happy birthday! and enjoy the ride, the ups and downs because in a year you’ll look back – and won’t it be interesting? you’ll think about how much your life has changed for the better, and all that good stuff, etc, etc.

    Deep breaths.

    • mmarinaa says:

      Thank you!

      It’s crazy to think about where I’ll be in a year, haha. Like it’s just this nebulous, foggy bunch of colors that I cannot discern anything in! It is definitely going to be fascinating to see what emerges as the picture then.

  2. Tiny May says:

    Happy birthday! I hope everything goes smoothly for you as you head back to the States. You’ve had quite an adventure living in the Middle East, so thank you for sharing your experience on here. It’s crazy, because I’ve been reading your blog since even before you moved to the Middle East. (So close to a decade, maybe?) time flies.

    • mmarinaa says:

      Thank you!

      It is indeed crazy to think about! Like every time I want to delete the blog I’m like, no, there’s too much there!

      Hope you’re enjoying Budapest!

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